Losing You
by kitty-kat12
Summary: Helena thinks of Guy's death-POV


A/N: THIS IS MY FIRST BOP STORY. SO DON'T BE CRUEL. I FELT SORRY FOR GUY AND HELENA WHEN I WATCH THE "THREE BIRDS AND A BABY" EPISODE. IT WAS TRULY TOUCHING. SO IN MEMORY OF THAT SAD EPISODE, I WROTE THIS FIC. HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT. REVIEWS PLEASE.  
  
  
  
Helena looked around her, at the damp grass beneath her boots, at the endless sky above her, and sighed. Her heart felt like it had broken into a million pieces and she didn't know how to make it whole again.  
  
Bring him back, she thought sadly. She knew who she meant.  
  
Guy.  
  
She wanted him back now, more than anything in the world. She had lost her mother and she had lost him too. It was unfair that for the first time in many years, she let herself love again, let down the wall the she had created to protect herself, to care for Guy and he was taken away from her.  
  
She looked up at the stars that formed the constellation Orion and remembered what she had told Guy not too long ago in this very spot. She had told him that they were warriors, protectors. She remembered the confused look in his face and how he finally understood her.  
  
Helena sighed again, shutting her eyes tightly, letting the tears fall free. She loved him. She hadn't wanted to love him but he was just a child and a part of her had held on to him, adored him and grew to love him in a matter of three days.  
  
Then she lost him.  
  
"There's nothing you can do now." She whispered to herself in the darkness. The thought angered her. There were so many things she wanted to do. Most of all save Guy.  
  
But she knew she couldn't.  
  
It was too late.  
  
There was no changing it back now. He was gone. She had lost him. The finality of it made her heart ache again.  
  
I didn't want to lose him, she thought sadly as her body began to shake from her sobs. Guy was like a son to her, despite what she may let the others think. She had held him and cradled him in her arms and sang him to sleep.  
  
And she never sings.  
  
She had let herself grow attached to him despite knowing the danger of letting her guard down. It couldn't be helped. He was so easy to love, so innocent. She had watched him grow up in three days; grow through his whole life so quickly.  
  
Alfred was right. It was never enough time.  
  
If only Guy wasn't meta-human. If only he was normal and then I would have years to spend with him, to take care of him. Then I would see him play sports, have a girlfriend, get married, and have a career. Actually 'have' a life, Helena thought bitterly. She wanted to beat the sense out of her. There was no point in 'if onlys'. He was gone for good.  
  
That hurt.  
  
She remembered her pride when she saw him beat the scientist and the fear that crept up on her when Guy killed him. But not for one moment did she stop loving him. .  
  
She was there when he cried because he wasn't comfortable with Dinah or Barbara. She was there to buy him diapers. She was there when he was four and he threw food on their million dollar equipment. She was there to see him struggle with what he was. She had taught him to choose goodness instead of evil.  
  
She had fought him, and held him and loved him. She tried the best she could to save him from the cruelty of the world, from himself. She tried. She really did.  
  
But in the end, despite all her love for Guy and all her efforts, she failed him.  
  
I failed him, Helena thought sadly.  
  
She had failed Guy like she failed her mother. The thought made her want to crawl on the ground and die.  
  
But she didn't.  
  
Instead, she stood up, wiped the tears from her blood shot eyes and looked up at Orion.  
  
If only they had more time, then she could tell him of how proud she was of him. She wanted to tell him a lot of thing but that was useless now.  
  
She exhaled quietly and smiled sadly at Orion.  
  
"Wherever he is, watch over my boy, okay." She said aloud as if believing that the mythical warrior could really hear her.  
  
She folded her arms in front of her, looking around at the playground, remembering what had happened here not too long ago.  
  
She would remember this place forever, hold on to the memories that were built but she would never ever come back.  
  
Maybe one day, she would but right now she was too unhappy and she wanted the memory of Guy to be a good one.  
  
She'd always see him as that small baby that she had held in her arms, completely oblivious of the cruelty of the world around him, unaware that his life would be deprived, cut short because of who he was.  
  
Helena walked quietly in the darkness, tucking the image of Guy in her heart and praying that she will never ever forget him, forget the love that she felt for such an innocent life. She promised herself not to feel this way again, not to be so hurt after feeling so much love. After caring so much.  
  
The world was a cruel place.  
  
She wanted to apologize to Guy for not being able to give him the life that he so deserved but mostly for declaring that she wouldn't let anyone else get to her heart so easily again.  
  
"Once bitten twice shy." Helena whispered remembering the old expression. She didn't want any bad feelings. She was sad enough.  
  
Instead, she thought of putting him in a place deep in her heart, guarding his memory.  
  
There he would stay forever. 


End file.
